Raising children is one of the hardest things that you can ever do in your life. Especially, if you are trying raise caring and productive individuals when you have your own issues to deal with. It can make things even more difficult when you are dealing with mental illness, the amount of body-shaming that is running wild these days and raising a daughter as a fat mom.
Always As A Fat Mom…
Nothing more and nothing less. I have always been the fat mom and I knew, the moment that I had daughter, that things were going to different. I had seen how kids behave, I know how they can be and I realized how hard it was going to be, raising a daughter as a fat mom.
Raising girl to be a strong and self-loving person
I have always been fat, so I haven’t ever known anything different. The women in my family are overweight, so I just assumed, naively, it was just the way we were. My assumptions were blown out of the water when I gave birth to my daughter. She has a petite, strong body and is perfectly matched, as far as height and weight go.
I have always been a fat mom and a self-loather, but now, I have to be a strong mom, who teaches her children to love and respect themselves.
Teaching your daughter self love when you have none
I tell my daughter she is amazing, she is strong, she is smart, beautiful and perfectly perfect. I do this out loud, all the while, saying the exact opposite about myself on the inside. Recently, my daughter noticed or said something, for the first time, about me embarrassing her if I wore a swimsuit, because I’m fat. It was at that point I realized that I taught her that I was fat!
That’s right. Teaching my own daughter to body-shame me, by body-shaming myself. How I am supposed to teach her to love and accept herself, when I can’t do the same?
My daughter is at the age where she is starting to notice more and more things about people’s appearances and outwardly details and I am fine with that, because everyone does. However, I want her to remember not to judge a book by it’s cover, while at the same time, she is teaching me to change the way I look at my own cover and story.
If I want her to grow up and love her self and her story, then I need to learn how to love my own and lead by example.