Let me lay some relatable parenting on you and listen while I admit to the entire internet, that I am a bad mother!
I said bad.
I didn’t say terrible.
Get your mind out of the abusive, neglected gutter.
I know that I’m not really a bad mother.
Although, I can be at times…
Why am I a bad mother, let me count the ways.
1. My kids watch TV in the morning while I drink coffee and “work” (scroll Facebook) on the computer.
2. Sometimes my kids don’t eat breakfast until 9 or 10 after they remind me that I haven’t fed them.
3. I bribe/threaten my kids. Don’t judge. It works at times.
(It really is scarier. I know this for a fact.)
4. I swear. I swear a lot. My kids hear me swear. My kids are allowed to swear if they use it in the right context and situation.
(My son and I have had this exact conversation.)
5. Go gurt, Kraft Mac and Cheese, Hot Dogs, Spaghettio’s… Hell yeah my kids eat that shit. It makes my life so much easier sometimes.
6. My daughter is obsessed with tattoos so, we bought her a ton of fake tattoos.
My son is obsessed with submarines and war. He watches Documentaries and plays battleship.
7. My kids enjoy a lot of screen time, as do their parents. We do however, make sure that a good percentage is educational in some way or another.
8. My kids do not bathe or brush their hair daily. Why? Because I’m lazy and I don’t think they are that dirty.
9. My kids have no filter. They are blunt and to the point. They will tell you exactly what they think. They get that from me.
10. My kids are brilliant, awkward, charming, brazen, hyperactive and loud. I try to give them the freedom to be whoever they want to be. (Until it drives me nuts, then we need to bring it down a few levels.) I couldn’t be any more proud!
So, I may not be a bad mother but I am definitely not a cookie cutter mother.
I’m not June Cleaver.
I’m not Morticia Adams.
I get tired.
I get frustrated.
I’m more like Peggy Bundy with a little Roseanne thrown in and I’m ok with that. It doesn’t make me a bad mother.
In fact, seeing the bad and realizing it, makes me a good mother.
Being real with my children and raising them to be prepared for life makes me an even better mother.
My children are happy, healthy and thriving!
I believe my job description is, in a round about way, being fulfilled.